Change
by Cameo45
Summary: Rachel breaks. And surprisingly it's Santana that decides a change needs to come.  CH2-Santana is not a bully. She's just an enforcer of the status quo. Right? CH3-Rachel apologizes for what was said in the heat of the moment.
1. Break

Truth Rachel is annoying and loud and over-confident. But she's always strong. At least that's what they'd always believed. So it shocked them really when she broke. The day would always be remembered.

Brittany's "I'm sorry, I. . .I didn't mean to," still rings in their ears as they watch Rachel run off stage, the musicians halting abruptly.

Brittany looks like she's about to cry and Artie looks petrified, so Santana approaches her friend, "Brit, what happened?" she asks. Then thinks about congratulating her, for doing what the rest have failed to, but Brit seems distressed not pleased.

"I. . .I. . .you and Quinn never yelled at me if I was nice to Ra. . .Manhands while we we're performing. I like to stand next to her it helps me remember the words because of how much she feels them. . .and her hands are soft. So I started to hold it, or hug her if I thought I could get away with it. I. . .it. . .it was sorry but not."

Santana winces a bit at hearing how Brittany had to hide in fear of what her or Quinn would do. That she'd made her best friend feel like there was something she couldn't tell her in fear that she would have told her it was wrong (the fact that she would have, doesn't escape her.)

"It's okay, Britt. That was a nice thing to do," Artie says now that Brit's tears seem further away.

"Thumper told me to."

"What?" just about everyone asks.

"Bambi," surprisingly Puck explains to which the whole club gapes at him. "Younger sister, remember?" When they still just stare, he sneers," Rachel? Ran off crying? Weren't we finding out why?" And finally their gazes are away from him and he can stop pretending not to care.

"I just hugged her," Brittany says, and sounds heartbroken. "Then she shattered. . .do you think Rach. . .Treasure Trail is a vase?"

"You can call her Rachel, Britt, we won't yell," Quinn reassures the upset girl.

"Rachel doesn't cry, not real tears" Tina interjects, sounding somewhat dazed.

"Where we can see," Kurt supplies resigned.

There's a moment of realization. Whatever's going on. . .whatever's happening that it's caused her to. . .to let them see—it's bad. It's bad and none of them have paid enough attention to her to have any idea what to do.

"Maybe someone should go. . ." Sam begins but then dwindles off, afraid that he'll be sent after the girl.

"I'll go," Finn eagerly volunteers.

"No," Santana, Quinn and the rest are quick to say except for Brittany who says instead, "I thought we wanted to stop her crying?"

It's Brittany's words that make Finn not question the group decision.

"Who then?" Mike asks.

And they all shrug and think. No one wants to volunteer that might mean that ::_gasp:_: they like Rachel. Brittany's still sure she did something so is reluctant to go, that doesn't stop her recommending someone, "Noah."

"Who?" Sam questions, not having seen enough of the groups' interactions to know of Rachel's insistence on using Puck's real name, but the group ignores him.

Puck is already shaking his head. When Santana who always seems to speak 'Brittany' a little better than the rest asks, "B, you never call Puck that, why now?"

"Because Puck is a boy obsessed with being a badass, and a jerk and may even hate Rachel. He belongs to us. But Noah, the man Rachel brings out, is kind and loves her. He can comfort her, he belongs to her."

"You know they're the same person,Brittany?" Artie questions not following.

Puck meanwhile, " I don't. . .I'm not in . . .I don't love her," he finally forces out.

"Then be Noah," surprisingly Quinn speaks. And Brittany nods glad to be understood. But the boy still struggles. "Noah is a good man. I couldn't see that, but Rachel does. And she needs you, the rest of us. . ." and then she stops unsure of the words.

"Back-stabbing witches," Mercedes fills in, and they would be angry if weren't clear she was including herself. "We've all taken our turn."

"She forgave me for the slushies, you know? Easy. . .like one I'm sorry, made up for a year and a half of . . .of torture."

"The words mean a lot," Kurt smiles sadly. "But what matters more is you haven't thrown once since you've known her. You put actions to those words"

"I. . .dude, I had to know her to throw them at her."

"No, you had to be aware of her existence. You're the only one that once you joined glee and knew our names, sort of, stopped bullying us. One day you did, and the next you just didn't. When she became Rachel instead of freak, you stopped. No one else drew that line in the sand. Finn slushied me when the team demanded it. We all know San and Q would still do anything to bring down Diva," he says then winces because though it wasn't malicious that time, it had been plenty of times before. "Mercedes and I fared better after our stint on the Cheerios. Artie keeps his head down as does Tina. And we. . .we've obviously had our own hurtful words to Rachel instead of uniting with her," he ends feeling convicted himself.

"You're the only one who's ever spoke up for her, man. To her face and to ours," Finn whispers. He's feeling resigned to the idea that he and Rachel may not be destined for eternity. Finally seeing that he only ever helped tear her further down.

"Finn?" Noah questions.

"They're right, man. Go to her."

And with that release he leaves them to find the girl.

"So how long have you've been secretly hugging on Ms. Thang?" Artie asks Brittany to lighten the mood.

"Lean on Me," Brittany answers.

"Seriously?" Santana can't help but be shocked at just how much she missed especially about the girl who's supposed to be her best friend. If she missed this about Brittany, does she really know anyone?

"We all missed it San," Quinn is telling her. But she's consumed with questions, one of which breaks free.

"Did everyone else treat her like you and I, Q? Because we were bad, but. . ." and suddenly profanity is all she can think of to describe the situation and Rachel doesn't like profanity.

Quinn can only shrug. So desperate she looks to the gleeks, "Was it everyone?"

"I don't know. . .I think we've already established that we failed her as well. But. . ." and here Artie hesitates knowing that the next word is going to hurt, "probably. Maybe not everyday. Maybe not as bad, then again someday's probably worse." And at that everyone flinches.

Santana recovers first, "Get JewFro," she orders Mike.

"Why?" he questions.

Her, "Now," leaves no room for debate.

The terrified boy is soon brought before them.

"You will have for me the name of everyone who ever tormented Rachel Berry, typed tomorrow. Preferably with how, but if you can't remember, names with suffice," she wastes no time in ordering.

When the boy merely looks back at her she adds, "." Then she seems to stop and becomes totally still, closing her eyes. She breathes deeply and in a nicer voice, she adds, "Please Jacob."

This seems to only terrify the boy more as he scurries off.

The club is looking at her shocked.

"Bullying is ending in this school. If the teachers are too big of pansy's to do it, we'll do it for them. Q-mandate it, any Cheerio's caught will be off. Finn talk to Beiste. Everyone make a log. If you see it, if you experience it, if you do it- report it in the journal which you'll give to me at the end of each week. I want names-bullies, and bullied, where and how. Kurtofsky and Azismo will be our first examples," Santana mandates, and they all nod. For the first time the glee kids realize who's really in charge and are surprised to find it isn't Quinn.

"You can't actually enforce that Santana," Rachel speaks bringing their attention to the fact that she came in sometime during that speech. She it seems is the only one willing to speak against the scary and fiercely determined Latino. Everyone notices the weariness in her voice and how she seems to be leaning on Puck to even be able to stand there.

"I can and I will. I'm glad you're here. Until the plan takes over, you'll be escorted to and from classes. You'll have a choice in which Gleeks of course, but Mercedes, Tina, Kurt and Artie are excluded. They'll have their own escorts as can be managed. Though Puck may want to be your primary escort so that may not be so difficult to orchestrate," she spoke obviously thinking on her feet. "Okay, Monday morning, you're walking in between Q and I with Brittany of course, just to ensure they get the message fast how serious I am."

Rachel looks like she's about to argue, but then she looks to Noah and he shakes his head, so she doesn't. All is quiet. Then Brittany cheers, "Yay!" She rushes towards Rachel before abruptly stopping in front of the girl, "Can I hug you again? Or is that still not okay?"

A soft, "Of course you can," is heard before the blonde tentatively asks "Will you cry?" so Rachel throws her arms around Brittany. While Brittany tightly hugs her back, Puck's left standing looking like he's not sure he wanted to let go, even for a moment.

When Kurt comes down next, he does actually pull her back and growl, "Mine."

She burrows into him, as Kurt laughs and commands, "Share, or I'll hug you both." Puck lets go but looks on protectively.

In that moment, Santana looks at those left on stage and says quietly, "You _are_ in this with me right?"

"Always," Quinn replies.

"Happy to be so," Mike replies, pulling Tina close.

"Just tell us what we need to do," Sam responds and they all remember that's he stood for the Gleeks before, where others (_Finn_) had hesitated.

McKinley will never be the same again, and they're all really glad. Some of them knew a change needed to occur; they experienced it daily after all. But they never expected the change to originate at Santana and they definitely didn't see the catalyst being Rachel shattering.


	2. Santana Is

AN:Thank you so much for all the kind comments to Change (and everything else), it really does make sharing what I write a little less intimidating. This is not a continuation of Change, but instead a different way to redeem Santana. I hope you enjoy and don't find it too unbelievable.

Santana Is. . . 

Santana was angry when she'd been excluded from the girls' meeting. Puck was as close to a boyfriend as she allowed, and she cared about Kurt too. She got that bullying was bad, and thought the school should have a policy for kids like Kurt. To stop kids like Karofsky. But what she didn't realize in all that righteous indignation was that _she_ was like Karofsky.

I mean sure she picked on Berry. But it's not like she was cruel or attacked her like Karofsky had Kurt. And she'd definitely never threatened the girls' life. All she did was ensure the social hierarchy. You know, no big deal. Say what everyone else thought or be the sounding board for everyone else to express those thoughts-that's_ all_ she did.

She wasn't a bad person. She actually liked Glee and knew Rachel was one of their best singers. It's not like she wanted the club to lose her, she just wanted the girl to be in her place—by them, not above them. So it's not like she was trying to destroy anything like Sue. In fact, if it got Rachel to calm down it would probably benefit the club.

This is what she truly believed. This is what she told herself because it wasn't like she made the girl cry or anything, it was just a little friendly picking. A little sarcasm, a little name-calling, harmless. This is what she knew to be true.

Then she saw Karofsky push the girl in question so hard she stumbled and fell. Santana laughed with everyone else. Then she went and reached her hand down, with a 'Come on Manhands'.

She was shocked when the girl in question shied away from her. When Rachel's eyes showed a mixture of terror and pain, before she recovered her façade, she couldn't help but gasp. She wasn't a bad person, it was all in good fun her head screamed at her. Her heart that had been forced to be silent for years questioned fun for whom?

She reached out again as she watched Rachel practically crawl up the locker, but the girl again pulled away, with a hissed "Don't."

"Can I get someone to help you?" she questioned worried for the girl and baffled that Rachel seemed so scared of _her_.

"Who is there to get? No one likes me, _remember_?" Rachel asked in a bitter tone, she'd never imagine could come from the happy girl. Rachel closed her eyes tightly, then bit out in a voice that was closer to her, but still not right, "I do not require any assistance. I'm perfectly fine."

Her grimace of pain belied these words when she took the first step. But with the second she was 'the Rachel Berry' Santana saw everyday with no sign of what Santana was sure was at least a sprained ankle.

She needed to get. . .tell someone, but kept hearing Rachel's bitter voice asking who? Then the answer walked around the corner.

"Puck!"

"Uh, San?" he questioned at being greeted so enthusiastically.

"Rachel needs you. . ." she stared.

"Whatever," he sneered. "Just because I went against you for her, doesn't mean you can use her to get to me."

"No, she. . ." she tried again.

"I'm not Finn," he told her hatefully.

"I think her ankle's sprained," she yelled at his back.

"What?" he questioned turning. "Did you. . .," he began to ask.

"No!" she yelled and then questioned how if she was such a good person, how a person she'd known for years could think she. . ., "Karofsky pushed her and she fell. She flinched when I went to help her up, instead crawling up the lockers and grimacing when she walked until she was able to school her features."

"I'll kill him," Puck swore.

"No! I'll get Sam or Finn or all of them, but she needs _you_. She'll let you see her weak,right?"

"I don't know San. I was like you and him, you know?"

"But you changed," she smiled tightly trying not to let him know the comment hurt. Trying to hide that he so easily grouped her with Karofsky affected her, she was glad he seemed much more focused on Man. . .no, Rachel and was already hurrying away from her.

Later as Santana entered Glee, she heard all the comments about the little Diva. How she must be throwing a fit. Or was storming out again. Or that it was a plea for attention from Finn. Or maybe she and Puck were together somewhere doing you know what. Santana was hyperaware of the fact that nobody was concerned either about the girl's whereabouts or that she might come in and overhear them.

"Stop it, all of you!" Santana shouted.

"Excuse you?" Mercedes responded.

"She got hurt. Karofsky hurt her. And you're all talking about it like she's not here for attention."  
"You would have too if you didn't know that," Tina bravely spoke up.

"Yes. And I would've been a hypocrite like all of you, " she agreed.

"What?" Quinn asked.

"We all wanted to stand up against Karofsky and protect Kurt. But none of us looked at the bullying we do every day."

"Gurl, you. . ." Artie began.

"No. I know most of its just high school. But aren't we always preaching this is a family. Yet half of you still get slushied while the other half turns a blind eye—no one moreso than Rachel. After this morning, I was thinking back and I can't remember one kind thing I've ever said to Rachel—not even when she was the only one who believed I wasn't a spy. And that might be okay, if it was just me. But it's all of us,"

"San, " Quinn tried to intervene.

"No, Q," the girl replied. "I told you she got hurt and you made excuses. I tried to help her up and she flinched, actually flinched. That's not okay. The fact that before she was able to shutter her eyes, I saw terror of _me?_ That's not okay," she said with quiet passion. When the others stayed silent, "We need to stop trying to hurt each other, because there's plenty of people outside this club that are willing to take a pound of flesh, and if we can't do that. . .then what are we even still doing here?"

"You're right, Santana," Mr. Shue spoke from behind her, with Ms. Pillsbury at his side.

"Rachel is in the ER with a sprained ankle, and a couple of rib fractures, one of which has punctured her spleen. Right now, there watching and waiting to see if she'll need surgery. Luckily Puckerman was able to insist on her going to the ER, because Rachel herself refused to say anything," Ms. Pillsbury told them.

"Due to the seriousness of her injury and Rachel's unwillingness to reveal who injured her, Figgins is requesting witness even if they're anonymous. There'll be a. . .," Ms Pillsbury continued before Santana interrupted.

"I saw it. Karofsky shoved her into the lockers; she stumbled and ultimately fell hard. There was a whole hall of witness and we laughed. Jacob may have even been filming," Santana spoke without hesitation.

"Are you willing. . ."the guidance counselor began to ask.

"Yes," Santana firmly stated.

"Now, Santana, you need to. . ."

"No. _I'm_ a bully, Ms. Pillsbury. Did you know I didn't even realize until today? But I'm a bully, same as Karofsky," she bit out bitterly. "And we need to be stopped, before lives are ruined. How soon until someone takes their life or gets their life taken? So yeah, I'll tell whoever about what I saw, what I've seen, what I've done, what I've ordered others to do. Total honesty. Because I'd rather be a reformed bully, like Puck, before it's too late."

"I'm really proud of you, Ms. Lopez. I can only hope others will follow in your footprints," Ms. Pillsbury spoke looking at the girl admiringly.

"Tell them to follow Berry's. She may be gruff sometimes, and she may bulldoze her way over you; but she's not a bully. If you need someone, she's there, no matter how you treated her. Do you think I might be able to visit her," Santana questioned as they started to leave the room for Ms. Pillsbury's office.

"If you can get by her bodyguard," Mr. Shue muttered.

"What?" Ms. Pillsbury questioned.

"I went by on my lunch break. Only to be informed by Puck that for one I've always been unfair to the girl, and lately unkind, and furthermore, she was finally asleep so wouldn't I kindly get out. There was a fair amount more cursing. He asked that I inform you all that if you come it better be for her and not your own conscience, and I'm pretty sure he intends to be the judge," Mr. Shue explained.

"Good," Santana spoke smiling and shocking them all once again. "Someone needs to protect her from us." Then she looked back at the club, "Maybe you don't get it, but I never want to see that kind of terror because of me, I refuse to be someone who another actually cowers from."

They heard her telling Ms. Pillsbury as they left, "Puck even thought I was just trying to manipulate him at first, I. . . do you really think I can be better after everything?"


	3. Apology

"Santana," the Diva approached the other girl at her locker. Before the other girl could respond, she continued, "I'm," she started then gulped visibly and started again speaking quickly. "I apologize for my cruel and insensitive insinuation that you would be a. . .like Mimi from Rent."

"Seriously, not everything is a musical, man. . .wait did you just apologize?"

"I did," Rachel replied more nervously than Santana had ever heard her.

"Why?"

"I told you because it was insensitive and. . ."

"Yeah, I got that part. I'm asking why are you apologizing?" Santana asked truly at a loss.

"I'm afraid I don't understand the question."

"Man. . .Berry, yes you joined Quinn in putting me down, but what you said hardly compares to a lot of the things I've said to you. And that's not even taking in to account the regularity with which I put you in your place," she explained and waited for Rachel to understand.

After a moment of silence, Rachel nodded somewhat blankly, "Yes."

"So why are you apologizing?" she questioned impatiently. "I think we both know I have never and have no plans in the future to apologize to you, which you must know. So I'm asking why did you come and find me? Why subject yourself to my likely ribbing just to apologize?"

"I'm not like you, Santana. To be honest, I don't really want to be like you. I hurt people sometimes, but it's almost always unintentionally. I promised myself long ago that no matter what you or anyone else did that I wouldn't lose myself. I promised that the bullies wouldn't make me callus. I went against that with what I said to you, so I wanted to apologize. I guess if it'll make you feel better you can attribute it to my being selfish. It felt like the first step of giving in, of letting everything that had happened change me."

Santana stood there shocked. She knew Rachel didn't realize that the comment about not wanting to be like her had hurt almost more than the stripper comment, because most days she didn't want to be like herself either. "Rachel. . .I'm . . .I. . .I can't, but I'll try and do better okay? Respect you at least."

Rachel merely smiled at her as she walked off, and it was clear that she didn't really believe the Latino would try.

* * *

Later in Glee, Rachel sang yet another solo that she wanted considered for Nationals. Quinn had already insulted the girl and told her to stop harassing Finn with love songs, he didn't want her.

Santana was speaking before she could help herself, "Yeah, Manhands desperate as always,. . ." she flinched when the other girls smile got just a smidgen tighter, "but the song could be awesome, Berry. If we broke the verses up and mixed things around. You and Puck the first verse. Tina and Sam second verse. Artie and I could get our soul on in the third verse. Then Mercedes and Finn could have the last verse. All while Mike and Brittany do like a tango. I vote yes as a possible contender for Nationals."

"Thank you, Santana," the girl said with a smile so bright Santana knew her thanks wasn't just for her support.

So she added only somewhat sarcastically, "What are teammates for, other than to cultivate ideas that could win us this thing," and ignored the questioning looks on most of the rest of the club's faces. She noticed the smirk on Puck's face and almost groaned at the thought that the same girl was making her go soft as had found the 'Noah' in him. Stupid, Midget—wait did respect mean she had to say Little Person, instead?

* * *

AN: This scene kind of bothered me especially when they followed it up with Santana crying. I can see Rachel saying it in the moment, but somehow for me she always apologizes. Because she's not that person. And no matter how cruel the others are, she usually isn't. She bites her tongue or seems oblivious, but she rarely reacts in kind. So after blowing up, she seems like she would feel sorry.


End file.
